There Is No Single Path to Safety: Why Your Support Creates Options for Survivors
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a time to recognize the many forms abuse can take and the diverse paths survivors need to find safety and healing. This month, we want to share an important truth: there is no one-size-fits-all solution for survivors of domestic violence.
Every survivor's story is different. Every journey to safety looks different. And every person needs different resources at different times.
That's why SAFE offers multiple pathways to safety, not just one door, but many doors that open at different times in a survivor's journey.
Today, we want to introduce you to those pathways, show you how they work together, and help you understand how your support creates real options for real people.
One Survivor's Journey: Christy's Story
Before we talk about programs and services, we want you to meet someone who walked multiple paths to safety over the course of her healing journey.
This is Christy's story, in her own words:
Hi, my name is Christy. I was in a relationship on and off for 14 years. It was a very mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive cycle. It felt like it would never end, or if it did end, it would have possibly ended in a life lost. Though scared and forever healing, I made it out of the cycle. I survived! I'm here to tell you there is sunshine after the rain, and joy DOES come in the morning (Psalm 30:5). God's Grace and Mercy pulled me through the darkest time in my life, and I owe it all to him. This is my testimony:
I think back to when I was younger, I can recall hearing about domestic violence and somewhat brushing it off. You tend to think "That will never be me", "I'll just leave", "I'll never let someone treat me like that", until you find yourself in the situation that you never saw coming. Then it becomes "How did I get here?", "How do I get out?", "How do I end this cycle?", and "Will I survive this?". Those were the questions I found myself asking over and over again. I would often ask myself, "If I died today, what would my life have been?". I was depressed, unhappy, lost, and looking at a woman in the mirror that I didn't even know anymore. I found myself being gaslit daily. I was to the point of checking myself into a mental hospital because he had me truly thinking I was, in fact, going crazy, hearing things, and totally disconnected from reality. There were days I couldn't swallow correctly because I had been choked in one of his emotional and explosive rages. I had to hide myself, the truth, the many bruises and busted lips from family and friends. I had become a master expert in concealing; I found myself making excuses at the drop of a hat. No one really knew what was happening because I had become the master of disguise. My life had become an act of concealing, and the pictures on Facebook didn't tell the true story.
I have had my head slammed into car windows and an AR-15 held to my head. On the night the gun was held to my head (after he swore it wasn't loaded), I remember vividly trying to sit still and remain calm, thinking to myself, "This is it. This is what I have waited for. This is how I die". There were days I was unable to brush my teeth because that meant I "was going to see another man". If I were to get my nails done or look too good in any form, then I was told I thought I was "ALL That" and "just wanted attention". So, over the years, I completely neglected myself, just to avoid the arguments and/or physical altercations. I was no stranger to walking on eggshells because he was like a light switch, and you never knew what would trigger him on any given day. Control was the game, and I was the puppet.
The relationship would get bad, worse, then go back to exciting and happy. It was a vicious cycle of highs and lows that had its claws sunk deep into me. My mind was warped, and my soul was broken. It was almost like a drug, and I was the addict looking for my next "high" or "good moment". The good moments tend to mask the bad because I just wanted to be loved. Then the cycle repeats itself like a broken record until I choose to crawl and fight my way out of it. It started with me changing the way I thought, what I accepted, and realizing that my life is worth fighting for.
Family and friendships were rocky, and I missed out on a lot. I was told my friends were no good and my family wouldn't be there for me forever. Over the years, I became isolated. I was battling suicidal ideations frequently. I figured that was the only way out of this trap, too fearful and broken to leave. I would tell myself that eventually he will leave again, and that would be my out. He was known for leaving and coming back weeks later. He would come back with promises to do and be better this time. With him being all I knew, I would let him come back. He was very convincing, but "better" only lasted about two months, then the cycle started over. I started to believe this was what I deserved, and this was how my life was going to be. I started to question "Is this love?". I would lie there at night with tears rolling down my face, too scared to move and wake him up. I would pray, "God, please save me, heal me, help me, change my heart, PLEASE!"
After 14 years, I finally made up my mind that he wasn't going to change and that I couldn't live my life like this. This was NOT what God wanted for me, so I mustered up the courage to end things once and for all. It was a night that we had been fighting, things were spiraling, and he told me that I should just kill myself if I didn't like what he said or was doing. It finally clicked, and I realized my life meant nothing in his eyes. I stood my ground even though I was terrified. He refused to leave at first, but after some back-and-forth, he finally left. I was surprised in that moment but cautious.
Once he left, I truly had made up my mind to end this cycle for myself and my future kids. I read the book "Prepare to be tortured" by A.B. Jamieson. It was given to me by a social worker that I worked with. It was like reading my life in black and white. It forever changed my life and allowed me to really see the game of control that an abuser/narcissist plays. I found myself alone for the first time, alone with myself, my thoughts, choices, and past. I realized how broken I truly was and riddled with triggers I had to deal with. One day, I got a message from a guy I dated 10 or so years ago sister, saying that my ex had contacted him through Facebook and sounded deranged for me to be careful/aware. That triggered a fear in me that I thought I had gotten over. The following day, my boss found me in the fetal position, crying in the breakroom in fear. It brought back so many past experiences. The depression gets worse at times. I realized the severity of it all. It affected my day-to-day interactions and overall life decisions. I turned to drinking, along with other things, to numb the pain until I realized this is not the way. True healing only comes from an encounter with Jesus and truly dealing with what happened. Now I have to face the trauma and process it properly.
I began going back to church and reading my bible. I would go to the altar every chance I got and ugly cried to the Lord, saying, "This is me; this is what I've been through. Lord, heal my heart and mind". Over time, he did just that. He has completely restored me! I had to trust the Lord, trust the process, and trust that God gave me the courage and faculties to do it! I can now stand tall in my truth to help others, knowing what I've been brought out of. I am no longer in fight-or-flight or survival mode. My past does not define me. Our past is not who we are. We are the only ones who can decide how our past affects our future. It's a daily struggle trying to retrain, rethink, relearn, heal, and trust, but it is so worth it. At the end of the day, when you look back sitting in peace, you realize the struggles are part of his plan, yet hard, it is worth it. The battle is not ours; it's the Lord's. We must be willing to allow him to fight for us and guide us. Take the first step, and he will meet you there.
You CAN do this. You CAN come out whole and on top. This life is beautiful, be brave and live it. Live it for yourself, as well as the people around you. YOU ARE WORTH IT! I love you, and Jesus loves you. I pray my story can help or encourage just one person. I pray you find the strength and courage that you need to SURVIVE.
Thank You, Christy
Christy's courage in sharing her story illustrates something crucial: her path to safety wasn't a straight line. It was a journey that required different resources at different times.
She needed knowledge and education to recognize the patterns of abuse.
She needed supportive people who gave her resources without judgment.
She needed time to process the trauma and understand what had happened to her.
She needed ongoing support as triggers emerged even after she left.
She needed healing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
This is why SAFE doesn't offer just one service. We offer multiple pathways because survivors need options, not ultimatums.
The Four Pathways to Safety at SAFE
Pathway 1: Emergency Shelter
When someone needs to leave right now.
Sometimes, safety means getting out immediately. Our emergency shelter provides:
A safe, confidential location
Immediate protection from harm
Basic necessities (clothing, food, toiletries)
A place to breathe and begin planning next steps
Who needs this pathway:
Survivors fleeing immediate danger
Families escaping violence
Anyone who needs physical safety first
Not everyone needs emergency shelter, and that's okay. Some survivors can stay with family or friends. Others find ways to remain safely in their homes. The key is having this option available when it's needed.
Pathway 2: Counseling and Support
When someone needs to understand what happened and heal from it.
Like Christy, many survivors spend years in abusive relationships before they fully understand what was happening to them. Counseling provides:
One-on-one support with trained advocates or our counselor
Help understanding abuse patterns and trauma
Processing complex emotions (love, fear, guilt, grief)
Tools to rebuild self-worth
Support groups with others who understand
Trauma-informed care that recognizes healing isn't linear
Who needs this pathway:
Survivors working through trauma (during or after the relationship)
Those who need help recognizing abuse
Anyone struggling with depression, anxiety, or PTSD
People rebuilding their sense of self
Christy found healing through faith and her church community, but she also benefited from a social worker who gave her the book that changed her perspective. Survivors heal in different ways, and counseling meets people where they are.
Pathway 3: Legal Advocacy
When someone needs protection, justice, or navigation through the legal system.
The legal system can be overwhelming, especially for someone who's been told they're "crazy" or that no one will believe them. Legal advocacy includes:
Help filing for protective orders
Court accompaniment (you don't face your abuser alone)
Assistance understanding your legal rights
Connection to attorneys and legal resources
Support through criminal proceedings if desired
Guidance on custody, divorce, and family law matters
Who needs this pathway:
Survivors seeking protective orders
Those navigating divorce or custody battles
Anyone facing their abuser in court
Survivors who want to press charges
Legal advocacy isn't required for everyone, but for those who need it, having an advocate by your side can mean the difference between giving up and getting protection.
Pathway 4: Community Education and Prevention
When we need to stop abuse before it starts.
Christy said it herself: "I think back to when I was younger, I can recall hearing about domestic violence and somewhat brushing it off. You tend to think 'That will never be me.'"
Community education is about reaching people before they become the survivor, or before they become the abuser. This pathway includes:
School presentations teaching teens about healthy relationships
Workplace training on recognizing and responding to domestic violence
Community workshops on warning signs
Bystander intervention training
Resources for parents talking to their children
Public awareness campaigns
Who needs this pathway:
Teens learning what healthy relationships look like
Community members who want to help but don't know how
Employers creating safe workplaces
Parents raising children who understand respect and boundaries
Everyone because prevention benefits us all
Why Multiple Pathways Matter: The Reality of Survival
Here's what many people don't understand about domestic violence: leaving is not a single decision. It's a process.
Christy was in her relationship on and off for 14 years. She didn't stay because she was weak or foolish. She stayed because:
Her mind was "warped" by years of gaslighting
She was isolated from friends and family
She believed this was what she deserved
The good moments masked the bad
She was terrified
She didn't know how to leave
And even when she finally got out, her journey wasn't over. She still needed:
Resources to understand what happened (the book from the social worker)
Support when triggers emerged (the fear after the Facebook message)
Time to heal from the trauma
Tools to process the pain in healthy ways
Community and connection
A path forward
If SAFE only offered emergency shelter, Christy might not have been ready for that step when she needed other support.
If SAFE only offered counseling, she wouldn't have had legal advocacy if her ex escalated.
If SAFE only focused on survivors who had already left, she might never have gotten the education she needed to recognize the abuse.
This is why your donations fund multiple pathways, because survivors need options, not obstacles.
What Your Donation Funds: Real Options for Real People
When you donate to SAFE, you're not just funding one service. You're creating a network of options that survivors can access when they're ready, in the ways that work for them.
One-Time Donations: Immediate Impact
$50 - Can provide crisis counseling session for a survivor or children processing trauma
$100 - Can supply emergency essentials for a family entering shelter (clothing, toiletries, food)
$250 - Can fund court accompaniment and legal advocacy for a survivor seeking a protective order
$500 - Can sponsor a community education presentation reaching 50+ students or community members
$1,000 - Can provide one week of emergency shelter for a family fleeing violence
Monthly Giving: Sustained Support for Long Journeys
Christy's journey took 14 years in the relationship and continues today in her healing. Monthly donors provide the consistent support that allows SAFE to be there for the entire journey.
$25/month ($300/year) - Can provide ongoing counseling and support group access for survivors healing from trauma
$50/month ($600/year) - Can fund legal advocacy services for multiple survivors navigating the court system
$100/month ($1,200/year) - Can support community education programs preventing abuse before it starts
$250/month ($3,000/year) - Can help maintain emergency shelter operations so it's available when someone needs it most
Become a monthly donor and provide the sustained support that makes all four pathways possible.
The Power of Choice
Christy ended her testimony with powerful words: "You CAN do this. You CAN come out whole and on top."
But here's what made that possible for her: She had choices.
Choice to access education about abuse patterns. Choice to lean on support when triggers emerged. Choice to heal in her own way, in her own time. Choice to move forward without being forced down a single prescribed path.
Your donation to SAFE creates those choices for other survivors.
When you support SAFE, you're saying:
"You don't have to leave before you're ready, but resources will be here when you are."
"You can access counseling without moving into shelter."
"You can get legal help without pressing charges if you're not ready."
"You can attend a community education event and learn before you ever become a victim."
"You can take the path that works for you, at your own pace."
Not Everyone's Path Looks the Same
Some survivors need emergency shelter immediately. Others never need shelter but desperately need counseling.
Some survivors need legal advocacy to get protection. Others need education to recognize what's happening is abuse.
Some survivors are ready to leave today. Others, need years to gather the courage and resources.
Some survivors find healing through faith. Others find it through therapy, support groups, or personal growth.
There is no right way to be a survivor. There is only your way.
And SAFE's job is to make sure every survivor has access to the pathway they need, when they need it.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Prevention is a Pathway Too
This month, we're particularly focused on community education and prevention, the pathway that stops abuse before it starts.
Christy said she used to brush off domestic violence, thinking "that will never be me." What if she'd had education about warning signs before entering that relationship?
What if her abuser had been taught as a teen that control isn't love?
What if bystanders in her life had known how to recognize the signs and offer support earlier?
Community education creates a future where fewer people become survivors in the first place.
This April, consider:
Sponsoring a school presentation on healthy relationships
Attending a community workshop on recognizing abuse
Sharing resources with your workplace
Talking to the young people in your life about respect and boundaries
Prevention is a pathway too, and your support makes it possible.
How You Can Support Multiple Pathways Today
Donate
One-time gift: Choose an amount that's meaningful to you. Monthly giving: Provide sustained support for survivors' long journeys. Donate online: https://givebutter.com/Pbiv04
Volunteer
Organizing our boutique
Assisting with events
Community education presenter
Administrative support
Learn more: https://www.safelouisiana.org/volunteer
Request a Presentation
Bring SAFE's community education to your:
School or youth group
Workplace
Faith community
Civic organization
Request a presentation: https://www.safelouisiana.org/contact-pedro-1
Spread Awareness
Share Christy's story
Post about Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Talk about domestic violence openly
Break the silence
Follow us: Facebook: @SoutheastAdvocatesforFamilyEmpowerment SAFE Instagram: @SAFELouisiana
Become an Advocate
Learn the warning signs. Know the resources. Be the person someone can come to.
A Final Word from SAFE
Christy's story reminds us that survival looks different for everyone.
For some, it's fleeing in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their backs.
For others, it's a 14-year journey of trying to leave, going back, trying again.
For some, it's recognizing the warning signs early and getting out before it escalates.
For others, it's healing from trauma years after the relationship has ended.
There is no single path to safety. There are many paths, and survivors need access to all of them.
Your donation to SAFE doesn't fund just one program. It funds options. It funds choices. It funds the possibility that when someone is ready, however and whenever that happens, the pathway they need will be available.
Because every survivor deserves options, not obstacles.
Thank you for creating pathways to safety for survivors in our community.
Get Help or Get Involved
📞 SAFE 24/7 Crisis Hotline: 985-542-8384
💙 Donate Today: https://givebutter.com/Pbiv04 Fund emergency shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, and community education
🔄 Become a Monthly Supporter: https://givebutter.com/Pbiv04 Provide sustained support for survivors' journeys
🤝 Volunteer: https://www.safelouisiana.org/volunteer Join our team of advocates
📱 Follow Us: Facebook SoutheastAdvocatesforFamilyEmpowerment Instagram @SAFELouisiana
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out. You deserve options. You deserve support. You deserve safety.
Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-888-411-1333 SAFE Crisis Line: 985-542-8384
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
SAFE is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. All donations are tax-deductible.
In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, help us create pathways to safety for survivors who need them most.
Thank you, Christy, for your courage in sharing your story and for reminding us all that healing is possible, journeys are unique, and there is sunshine after the rain.